Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Free Nail Polish Until Midnight
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Being Single Again
As I said previously, I've never been much of a dater. The Boy and I had been together since I was 18 so the dating world is all new to me. I had mentioned before about starting a potential new relationship, but I that may be over for now. The Potential New Boy (TPNB) and I were friends before The Boy and I broke up. We were friends in high school, but just reconnected last summer. Now here's the part that is kinda scandolous...I knew TPNB was starting to have feelings for me and I was developing feelings for him too. The Boy and I were "on a break" before we officially broke up and were free to go out with other people. At that time TPNB wanted to start a relationship with me. I told him I wasn't ready to just jump into another relationship right away. TPNB was dating somebody at that time so I told him to just keep dating her while I figure things out. I wanted to just take things slowly and not be serious. TPNB and I continued to hang out or whatever while he continued to date the other girl. Eventually TPNB decided that he just couldn't do casual with me. It had to be all or nothing. That with me he couldn't not be serious about our relationship - should be flattering right? It was just too much for me. I can't do that right now. TPNB also thinks that I need time to get over The Boy. I guess he's had similar experiences in the past and that makes him a bit wary of starting things with me. So we have decided to wait and see what happens and he is still dating the other girl. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be I guess. It does make me sad and hurts a little bit. And is it wrong that it kills me that he is dating someone else? I just wish that he would give me some time and not date other girls. That's selfish, I know. I just know that we could be so great together. We get a long SO well and really really match. We always have a good time when we're together and we have really great chemistry. He's so sweet and I can tell how much he really does like me and appreciates me for who I am, which is part of what makes this so hard for me.
Other than that, I have been asked out a few times. I've declined all the offers. After The Boy and TPNB I'm just not ready. It does get lonely, but it's also exciting. My friends are all determined to help me find someone new. There's been talk of speed dating and girls night out and online sites. It all sounds fun. Not to knock those who do it, but I don't know if i'm ready to join any dating sites yet. It's a very strange and scary time for me, but I know it's good for me and should be fun. Sometimes it's hard to remember that though.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Ch-ch-changes
Since my last post back in 2008 there has been one major change. The Boy and I are no longer together. It was pretty much a mutual thing, although it was The Boy that brought it up. I had been contemplating our relationship for awhile before we broke up. There are a lot of things that were wrong with our relationship and a lot of things that led to our break up, but I will only highlight a few of the main reasons. Things just weren't the same. We had grown apart. We want different things, at least at this point in our lives we do. The distance didn't help either. I think we felt disconnected from each other. I have my friends here and he has friends in LA, many of which I have never even met. I felt like there was a part of his life that I had nothing to do with. Don' t get me wrong, I think it's okay to have our own separate friends - healthy even. I felt very negelcted. We didn't talk everyday and we only saw each other on weekends. The Boy isn't in school right now and doesn't work, so I felt that he could have spent more time down here with me. He preferred to stay in LA and go out with the guys. Finances and money was also a big concern. The Boy spends money like it is going out of style. I don't even want to think about how high his credit card bill is. I'm sure it's very very high. I like to spend money too, but I'm a little more frugal with my spending. So that's that in a nutshell.
Being single is a whole new world to me. I haven't been single since I was 14! It's always been boyfriend after boyfriend so this is all new to me. It's both exciting and scary. I look forward to having the chance to date. Although, I'm not excited about people constantly trying to fix me up! I am horrible at turning people down for dates. I've been asked out a few times by guys that I'm not interested in at all. I knew one guy was planning on asking me out and I tried so hard to avoid it, but it happened anyways. I was so lame. Ugh - it makes me cringe just to think of it. The worst part is that he's a customer at my work and I see him all the time. I've known that he has been interested in me, but he never had the chance to ask me out because I was with The Boy. My co-worker, Roni, told him we had broken up. I was like, WHY?! Why did she have to tell him? She knows I don't like him. She just thought it was funny. She even encouraged him to ask me out, knowing that I would say no. How mean is that?
Since The Boy, I have kinda started a new relationship. I wouldn't call it a relationship really.....more of a potential new relationship. The Potential New Boy is an old boyfriend from middle school. We reconnected recently and started hanging out. There is an attraction there and we did kinda start something, but for now we're holding off on things. I don't want to rush into a new relationship right away. I'm just not ready for a relationship.
I probably won't blog again for awhile. I'm leaving this Saturday for my first real vacation in over 2 years. I'm going to Bali and I am uberexcited! :)